All the Young Queers by Nathan Evans

Author:Nathan Evans
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Inkandescent
Published: 2025-05-15T00:00:00+00:00

A mid-term visit. I suggested we go out for lunch but—no—they wanted to have it in hall like I did, to get the full Oxford experience. I wasn’t as pleased to see them as I’d have expected, just a month back. And although—just over a month back—Mum had threatened to hack my long locks off, now that I’d done it, got the ‘Hugh Grant’ cut, she too didn’t seem as pleased as might have been expected.

‘Doesn’t suit you,’ she told me, a little too frankly.

I didn’t think much of the C&A she was wearing, but didn’t say anything.

‘What does griddled mean?’

Dad was in his usual short-sleeve and jeans, menu on the bench before him.

‘It’s when they grill it in a pan.’

I rolled my eyes, conveniently forgetting I’d not long since asked Guy the same question. We’d been eating out more than I’d ever eaten out before: back home, there’d only been the odd excursion to Harvester.

‘The salmon for me, please.’

Mother had used her posh voice to order; I averted my eyes from the waiter. I’d never really noticed her accent, but by then I couldn’t bear to hear it—especially in my own mouth. Which dropped open as Guy and Lottie walked in. Guy had been instructed to steer clear; clearly that direction had not been taken by Lottie.

‘Hi!’

‘Mum, Dad, this is Lottie and Guy…’

‘We’ve heard all about you,’ Dad kowtowed.

Obviously, I’d been somewhat selective in what I’d told him, but hadn’t shied from revealing that my new best friend was the son of someone he’d seen on his television.

‘Would you like to sit down?’

That was the longest luncheon. To my perturbation, Guy thought it would be funny to play footsie with me while Dad asked his usual questions.

‘So, what do you want to do after graduating?’

‘Act.’

‘And can you make a living from that?’

Guy shrugged. ‘My parents have done alright.’

‘His father’s Teddy Terry,’ Lottie reminded us, quite unnecessarily.

‘I thought he was great in that thing… What was it, Susan?’

Mum—perhaps trying to read the situation—had surprisingly little to contribute to the conversation. But back in my room she was full of questions.

‘Is Lottie Guy’s girlfriend?’

I’ve always enjoyed a frisson, like when I pronounced the Queen should be dead one evening in the living room.

‘He’s gay, Mum.’

I could feel my temperature climbing. Dad must have gone to the shared bathroom along the landing, because it was just me and Mother. And there’d been a corresponding drop in her temperature.

‘Oh, he’s like that, is he?’

She turned her nose up as if I’d just done a dump in front of her.

‘Is that a problem?’

The stench of a lifetime’s ‘when you think about what they do, it’s disgusting was rising.

‘And are you like that, then?’

By that juncture, I didn’t much like her. I could never but love her. Hadn’t she always been the best mother, better than all the others—after school always there, tea prepared, and when the table was cleared, homework laid out there, hadn’t she always encouraged me to work harder, go further?

Until I went too far.

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